Mirror Mirror

If you would have told me 2020-2022 would bring mental health concerns to the forefront of our existence as of our world, I would have said really?  Well, here we are, thank goodness we are on the backside of the great pandemic of the 21st century.  But along the way, the pandemic has left the global economy with 1+Trillion in lost productivity.  One word that has perpetuated the carnage is a star in its own right, Anxiety.  But why? 

First of all, let’s take a moment and define Anxiety.  What is it and how did become a part of our everyday conversations?  The anxiety definition is clear, a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease.  Understand this, you can look confident and speak with confidence and have anxiety.  You can look happy and put together and be miserable inside.  You can be good looking on the outside and yet feel ugly on the inside. 

So the question is, now that anxiety has come to the forefront of our consciousness, how do we maneuver through it?  There are a few techniques I have learned over the years.  Do these techniques always work?  NO.  Are the techniques worth trying?  Of course.  By the way, these techniques have brought me back from the depths of hell and am here to speak about it. 

The first technique is a life hack I like to call mirror mirror.  The only person that limits your life is you.  When you feel nervous, uneasy, or feel worry begin to grab you, find a mirror.  Stand in front of the mirror and stare at yourself.  What do you see?  By that I mean, look beyond the skin, the color of your eyes, the color of your hair.  What do you see?  Who do you see?  Then breathe in as deep as you can.  Count to three and let it go.  Do this two more times.  What you are doing is breathing in the new energy and letting the old go.  Now, look at yourself again and say “I Am….and follow it with the next word that pops into your head.  You may wish to say word choices like I Am amazing, I Am strong, I Am confident, I Am courageous.  Now take three deeper breathes in and count to three and let it go.  You have just successfully taken in the new and pushed out the old.

You can also take it one step further and recite the following:

Mirror mirror in front of me

I am starting to understand

The person staring back at me

Will be able to see

That what I think and do,

Can and will make the world anew.

Tell anxiety to move right along and do not let it grab a seat and make itself comfortable in your life.  Comfort kills and is a one way ticket to the grave.  Recognize anxiety is a part of life and will always be in existence.  When you choose to look at yourself and push through the anxiety you have opened a whole new level of existence.  Please remember, even though you believe you have the tools to push away anxiety, you are still an emotional being having a human experience.  Will life always be easy?  No.  But when you have the ability to change what you are looking at, what you are looking at changes.

Anxiety, take the last row on the plane because we are ready to FLY (First Love Yourself)!          

The return of Super MEro Sunday: The Strawberry Lady

You do not have to look far to find Super MEro's in your circle. You know, those people that continually go above and beyond for their friends, family, and members of their community. Those people that show up with a positive attitude with a huge side of love and kindness for themselves and others.

And what is a Super MEro you ask? A Super MEro is anyone that is kind, loving and strives to show up as their best self in all they do. Make no mistake to be a Super MEro you do not have to earn a Nobel Prize or score the winning goal in the championship game. All that is required is showing up as your best self with courage, kindness, and a smile on your face and in your heart.

The woman featured in this week's Super MEro Sunday knows firsthand what it is to overcome adversity and use the power of kindness to go above and beyond for those around her. In her hometown of Las Vegas, she is known as the Strawberry Lady. She spends hours making chocolate covered strawberries and donates them to her local fire station, library, police station and other community organizations. Her daily intention is to continually make others smile and laugh.

Debbie Weed, yes you read that correctly, is also known within her circle of friends and family, as Doobie It is no joke that her birthday is none other than 4-20! Although she has a fun name, her life has been less than fun.

She woke up in the hospital after leaving her local Las Vegas nightclub where she performed her nightly comedy routine. Now left with constant pain and seizures after her car was hit by an uninsured driver and wrapped around a telephone pole, she knows the healing power of doing for others. Although during her recovery no one showed up for her. She returned home from the hospital and found her husband left her, the state removed her foster children, and her only daughter walked away. .

The power of one is alive and well as far as Debbie is concerned. Can’t you just see the smiles on the faces of the first responders at her local fire and police station as she arrives with trays of chocolate covered strawberries? She has taken her lifetime as a caterer and brings smiles and love to all around her.

At this point in her life, she is left reinventing what it is to be Debbie. Her transformation to her best self has allowed her to open her heart and life to herself and others. Has it been easy? NO. But as we know how important it is to choose courage over comfort. For those of you in Las Vegas, reach out to the amazing Strawberry Lady for your next event!

Cheers to Debbie The Strawberry Lady! You are a real Super MEro and thank you for making the world a better place!~Shirene

No hall pass needed!

“Comfort kills.  Courage is a true super power.  When you can be courageous in the comfort of the uncomfortable that is when you are able to transform and ordinary life to an extraordinary life!”~Shirene Hayes

The lie of comfort and complacency is alive and well in many of us.  Do you know that comfort is a one way ticket to the grave?  The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.   When you break through the lie of comfort to the truth of courage that is when your sense of self breaks free from the complacency of what is.   When you are able to develop a sense of courage, you are on your way to a great life of self-acceptance and self-love.  

Courage develops when you choose hard over easy.   Courage does not always feel like courage.  It can look impressive and powerful and at times even extremely exciting.  From the inside however, it can feel overwhelming and unpredictable.  Courage includes anxiety and fear.   

Courage includes anxiety and fear and happens inside us to enable us to push through the fear we are facing.  It is magical because it only happens just long enough to enable us to feel a sense of bravery.

The result of courage is not immediate.  It is one of the things in the life that has a compound effect.  Like the little things you do every day to keep yourself healthy.  Eating the right foods, exercising, taking a shower.  Courage may mean trying something new, speaking up in class, or even being kind to the new student in class.  It is one’s own ability to choose hard over easy.  Like with anything, the more you practice what is hard, the easier hard becomes.  The differences these actions make over time will always be there taking shape to create the courage we all need. 

So how do we create a sense of courage? 

1.     Speak it into existence.

We all, especially children and teens, step up or down to expectations.  Speak the courage into them and yourself. 

“I know how brave you are to do this……” 

“You are able to do this, you can and you will……….”

“Think about how you will feel about yourself when you push through your fear of……….”

“I got this!”

2.    Give yourself a permission slip for failure.

The biggest sign of courage and bravery is failure and rejection.  Every experience provides new information and new wisdom and builds over time.  It happens when you choose courage over comfort and you end up with the wisdom, knowledge and experience required to live a perfectly imperfect life.

3.     It’s ok not to be ready.

When opportunities to create courage appear, you may not feel ready.  That is ok.  Just keep moving forward.  The toddler did not just get up and walk across the room.  The toddler had failure after failure until one day, it just happened.  This is how courage happens. 

4.    Try something new.

It is often in the newness of and activity that the greatest level of courage happens.  I encourage you to try something new, especially the children in your life.  Try something that will push your physical and emotional self to grow.  Will you choose zip lining, public speaking, or even something simple as a new kind of coffee

5.    Be the example of courage.

Speak to your children about how you felt when you were nervous or scared and what you did to overcome the fear.  Talk about the times you have pushed through fear, sadness, and anger to what was right for you. 

6.     Allow intuition to be a part of their life.

Intuition is a lifetime of learning, memories, experiences, and being able to sit somewhere just outside your awareness of what is.  This happens when you receive that inner knowing, the nudge to do something, and a feeling of yes I must do this now. 

According to science, intuition is that vague nerve that runs from the stomach to the brain.  It is the longest of twelve pairs of nerves that leave the brain.  This is the nerve that causes the gut feeling we have all experienced. 

Everything we do depends on the flow of these nerves.  The real bravery happens when we learn to recognize these feelings and step out in faith to act on them. 

It is imperative to develop this with children.  Encourage them to pay attention to when they get the gut feeling about something.  This can be allowing them to let go of the justification of a thing or event.  Teaching them to ask questions of themselves when they experience these feelings from within. 

Questions like:

“What is it that I want from this experience?”

“What are you trying to show me?”

7.    Inner dialogue.

Self-talk is our own way to self-sabotage and remaining comfortable.  The ability to be brave can be a thought, feeling or action.  This is when the practice of I am, I can, and I will is imperative and the ability to know how to shift thoughts from negative to positive through self-talk.  The mind does not know the difference between an actual event and an imaginative event.  How does it feel to sit behind the wheel of the car you want? What do you smell when you enter the home you want? How does the watch you want feel on your wrist? Create in your minds eye what it is you want.

8.     It is the process that matters.

The how matters more than the what or the why.  Focus on the process which can be the decisions that are made, the actions taken, and how courage is the driver behind the wheel.  Fear of failure is good and is part of the process of being courageous and brave.  Fear of failure is why many do not even try.  Let the courage to try be more important than the result. Get up off the couch and start! Turn the video games off, get off your phone and start! Start right now you will be the winner in the game of life when you realize fear and courage are better than easy and comfortable! 

The next time you feel like you need permission to live your life, remember, no hall pass needed!~Shirene

The lies we tell ourselves!

“The only thing more powerful than the lies we tell ourselves, the smoke and mirrors we think others believe, is the realization that we don’t even believe ourselves anymore…”~Robin Williams

I think we can all understand why we may tell someone a small mistruth every now and again, but why tell yourself mistruths or lies.  The truth is most of us lie to ourselves many times throughout the day.  We learn to justify things that we know to be wrong.  We learn to say yes when we actually mean no because we do not want to hurt someone’s feelings.  We learn to accept what is instead of questioning the why.  We learn to judge someone because of their appearance, material possessions, etc.  We learn to think we are somehow better than the next person, when in fact we are ultimately made of love and kindness.  We learn to dislike someone because they are different than us.  The point is, the lies we tell ourselves are all learned behaviors.  So, if they are then learned, why is it so hard to unlearn.

I promise you, it can be done.  The way our world is headed right now, it is even more important we all wake up and pay attention to the little lies and mistruths we think, feel and say.  Now is always the perfect time for change.

These lies are as simple as telling yourself I am going to the gym today and then creating every excuse not to.  Or, you tell yourself, you will steer clear of carbs for a week and the next thing you know you are steering away from the drive through window with your burger, fries and shake.  Why lie to ourselves?  Why not just speak your truth and just have a conversation with yourself like this….”Self, I know we agreed I would not eat carbs for a week, however, I am really craving the burger, fries, and shake, what do you think?  Is this in alignment with my truth and the life I choose to live?”  Yes, I have had many conversations with myself, exactly like this one!  It works, trust me.  You open the dialogue with yourself and before you know it, the lies you are telling yourself are very limited at best.

There is a code of conduct that all superhero’s live by.  To really be able to step up and step into the greatest version of yourself and emerge a Super MEro, you must embrace The Super MEro Code.  Thought, Imagination, Truth, Love, Intention, Belief, Acceptance, and Repetition all combined create the best version of you! 

The next time you are conflicted and find yourself turning into the parking lot of the nearest drive through, have a conversation with yourself and let the lies you would tell yourself just keep on driving away!!~Shirene

Open the door to possibilities!

Do you know that everyday you wake up you step automatically through a new door of possibilities? Its true. See our lives are nothing more than our perception to what reality is showing us. You may be sitting on your couch staring outside at the cars going by right now. But you are only seeing a visible supply. You can take it all 10 steps forward and imagine each person is driving to see a loved one to give them a hug or a kind word. You can envision each person is rushing off to get their children to the doctor. You can envision each person is headed to the airport to catch a plane for a beautiful vacation in a distant land.

When we have the ability to look beyond the visible supply that is when we really step through the door of possibilities in our lives. This is the real work. When we can train our brains to look beyond the visible supply of all that is our lives and engage our senses, that is when the universe will begin to move energy our way.

I just opened my wallet and saw $32. Now I know there is only one $20, a $10 and two $1. However, I am seeing the bills as 4 $100 bills. I am seeing myself standing paying for the person in line ahead of me their groceries, I am feeling how good that makes me feel and hopefully it will put a smile on the other persons face. I am seeing myself repeating this over and over every time I go to the market. I am feeling that. I am seeing the clothes I am wearing, hearing the music in the store. So, when I open my wallet, I see way more than just what the reality is showing me.

When we can train ourselves to see beyond the reality and the visual supply of what we have. Oh and by the way, the whole time I am feeling a profound sense of gratitude for the money in my wallet! It is important to remember how gratitude for everything in our life will propel our energy forward and allow the door of possibilities to consistently open for us!~Shirene

There is a new Super Hero in town!

As our world begins to come back to life, there is a new Super Hero emerging around us. With powers of Motivation, Empowerment, and the ability to renew ones own sense of originality when faced with adversity.  This Super Hero is able to harness the power of innovation, kindness, love, and gratitude and share it with others.  This Super Hero knows how to choose thoughts, habits and how to create and live their best life. This Super Hero is inside each of us.  Grab a mirror, because this Super Hero is a Super MEro and it is YOU!  YOU are a Super MEro, the best Super Hero ever!

These Super MEros, are YOU!

YOU, the parents who are home schooling your children and maneuvering the challenges of being home 100% of the time.  YOU, the teachers who are teaching our children via challenging platforms.  YOU, the aviation employees who are carrying passengers safely to their final destinations.  YOU, the front line health care employees who are ensuring our world is safe for all of us.  YOU, the food suppliers who are ensuring our food is prepared, packaged and delivered in a timely manner so we all can eat.   YOU, the store employees who are ensuring we have groceries and supplies to purchase.  YOU, the amazing person who is reading these words in anticipation of some form of inspiration.  YOU are all Super MEro’s and as I write these words, I am profoundly grateful for each and everyone of YOU!

I know you are asking, what is a Super MEro? MEro is M= Motivation, E= Empowerment, and r= renew ones own sense of o=originality.

A Super MEro embraces three major life principles.  Eisenstein’s theory of the Universal Force of Love.  How thoughts and habits create our life, and most important the power of words.  Einstein believed love is light and the essence of our existence.  We must master the force of love within us and realize the full potential of what it is to love ourselves and those around us.  We must also create positive thoughts and create habits to support and create our best life. Most important of all, stand guard to the word choices we use and understand the power of I AM. I CAN and I WILL.

We all have the ability to choose to show up as our best self in everything we do.  Life is about choices and consequences, good bad and indifferent.  We can choose to be angry, worried, happy, sad, and fifty million other feelings.  We are 100% responsible for those thoughts and feelings. Always remember, we are all humans having a human experience in all that we do. The true test is how we maneuver through the human experience.   Will we claim victim of circumstance?  Will we shrug it off in denial?  Will we accept the status quo of what is?  Or, will we recognize the gifts we are presented with in the adversity, and move forward?  It’s all a choice.  This is your life, not a practice game.  

Right now our world is facing a state of emergency mental health crisis.  With unemployment at the highest rate since the Great Depression.  Most of us living under lock down, and the largest sense of isolation we have ever faced.  It's time to say enough!  We are all taught to accept what is.  We have not been taught to think.  Especially how to think our way out of adversity.  It is time to start to think.  Think about what you want.  Think about what you want from your life.?  Again, this is your life and not a practice game.  Do you know people spend more time planning a two week vacation than they do their life?  

It’s safe to say, the majority of us will not be able to continue with life as we knew it.  But, ask yourself, do I really want to return to that life? Or do I want to invent a new one?  Everything is a choice.  But first you must think about what you want and be very clear. Next, create habits that support what you want, and the rest will follow. Let's lead and inspire those around us to show up as their best self and emerge as the newest Super Hero!  Here's to Super MEro’s everywhere!  ~Sirene

What do you appreciate?

Appreciate what you have before life teaches you to appreciate what you lost.

With all that is going on around us, it is important to maintain a sense of gratitude in everything we have and everything we do.  Just simple pleasures like going to the gym, the spa/salon/barber, even going to Target to buy stupid stuff, as one of my friends said the other day have been removed for many of us.  When we look at our lives with a sense of gratitude, our energy shifts to that of kindness, purpose, and positivity.

We are seeing a shift in what important in our lives.  Do you realize that the most important gifts we own are free.  We have been taught by the media and society to label what is important by the car we drive, the location of our home, the clothing we wear, the "job" we have.  We put the most value on the things we posses.  Ever thought about the last time you really wanted something, a new car, the handbag, that new fishing pole.  How do you feel now when you get behind the wheel, when you leave the house with the bag on your arm, or you catch that fish?  Do you still have a sense of gratitude for the item?  Read that again, and now think about it.  What is your answer?  

I can tell you having had my life come to a complete stop, I appreciate everything in my life and have nothing in my life including people that I do not love and adore.  This is what is happening to all of us right now.  The way of the world is really forcing many of us to reevaluate what is important and what we truly value and are grateful for!  

When was the last time you walked into your living room and said out loud, "good morning living room, I am grateful for another day to share with you?"  Or you open your eyes and you say "I am so happy and grateful to open my eyes and than you for always exceeding my expectations?"  Imagine if there was no living room to wake up to or you did not even open your eyes?  Again, re read that!  We all have had friends and loved ones that did not get to experience another day.  

The gifts we all posses for free are our thoughts, health, attitude, and ability to overcome any situation. These are all free but yet the majority of us take all of them for granted.  Science has proven that we only use 10% of our brain capacity.  What if we were to engage the other 90%, what then? As a society we are taught to accept what is and look at what is.  The reality is there is no disease, only health.  The reality is I am forced to stay home, but this is a new chance to reconnect with my friends and family.  The reality is my gym is now closed, but I have alternate ways to get my sweat on.  The reality is I have no toilet paper, but I have wash clothes or rags that can be washed.  See there is always another way to perceive a situation and always something to appreciate.

As I sit on my porch on this lovely 82 degree day in Phoenix, I am so profoundly grateful for my fingers to be able to type the words, for my thoughts, for my legs I have crossed on the table in front of me.  I am profoundly grateful for the sound of the wind chimes blowing in the breeze.  I am profoundly grateful for the sound of the birds waking up for another day.  The ability to drink my coffee from my favorite mug while I watch the hummingbirds feed from the food I have made for them  See, please don't misunderstand, I am grateful for my wonderful car, hand bag, and well, fishing pole if I were a fisherman, but the point is, I am grateful for everything. What do you appreciate?

Again, appreciate what you have before life teaches you to appreciate what you lost!~Shirene

Have you lost your sense of Wonder?

Remember when you were a child and would sit and watch planes take off and come in for a landing and wonder where the people were going or coming from?  Or what your life was going to be like as a grown up?  Or even just wonder what was for dinner?

Wonder is just a fun name for imagination.  As children we have such a great sense of wonder and then society beats that out of us.  We are taught just to accept what is and not question the who, what, where, why, and how.  

The ability to wonder is one of the many things we are all born with and can either develop or not.  Where would our world be if Einstein or Ford had no sense of wonder?  Just think about that for a moment.  Now you understand how wonder plays an important role in our lives.  

When you cook, do you follow the recipe 100%?  Some do, but I always wonder if i don't have all the ingredients what it will be like with something different.  When you drive to the store, do you enter the same way?  Ever wonder what the store looks like through the other door?  When you are traveling on a plane, ever wonder what the person's life is like sitting next to you?  

I think to have a developed sense of wonder is to truly live a rich full life.  My son recently sent me a card with a few sticky notes inside.  The first one said I am sending these to you to remind you how much I love you and to place them in places where you will see them often.  The first one read "lets start with I love you!"

The second was "Today do something random."  The third was "Listen to a new playlist while walking a different direction outside today."  The next day "Drive a different route today."  You get the point.  I have these notes and treasure them.  What a true sense of wonder to put them together.  Let me tell you, this whole thing made me feel so very special and loved that he took the time to put this all together and wonder how much fun I would have with the surprise.  Duh, who raised him?  

When you are brushing your teeth today, take a few moments, close your eyes and just wonder about your day.  What are you feeling?  What words are swirling in your head?  But most important, do not loose your sense of wonder.~Shirene

Next stop the top!

Think about this for a moment, the depression was a blessing in disguise.  It reduced the whole world to a new starting point that gives every one a new opportunity.  This is the life we are all living at the moment.  

This virus that has spread throughout the world is affecting everyone.  Not just one socioeconomic class, but EVERYONE!  Most of us have been forced to live under house arrest to keep the spread of this virus under control.  Travelers have been grounded.  Children have been released from school.  Telecommuting is part of our life.  Most important, we have all been forced to communicate and reach out to each other in a new way.  

We have two choices right now, look at what is going on around us as a positive or a negative.  But both positive and negative thoughts cannot occupy our minds at the same time.  Faith (positive) and Fear (negative) are not friends and in fact cancel each other out.  When we think about our plans for the future and what we want our life to be, and at the same time have a profound feeling of scarcity and lack, we have just cut the cord of possibilities.  Right now, when you go to the grocery store and the shelves are bare, that is the energy of competition, lack and scarcity.  When people feel the need to hoard items, that is competition, lack and scarcity. 

It takes work to think positive instead of negative and not be influenced by appearances.  Yes there is a virus spreading the world, but the reality is health and abundance.  We all have the inherent ability to create our own reality.  Turn the television off!  One of my favorite sayings is "garbage in garbage out!"  If I choose to watch and listen to negative ideas and stories, that is what is feeding my conscious mind and most important, subconscious mind.  I do not watch shows about murderers, rapists, and pandemics.  Why would I?  I am not being naive, however, I do not need to fill my mind with the reality of why these people did what they did or the sensationalized media hype.  I will always choose to live my best life everyday and that includes the things I read, people in my life, the music I listen to, and the shows I choose to watch.

According to the energetic law of competition, one cannot be competitive and creative at the same time and it is important to remember that what I want for myself, I want for EVERYONE.  Whatever happened to the golden rule?  Do unto others as you would have done to you?  Does anyone even pay attention anymore?  

Now is the time to make your list of 300 things you want.  You read that right, 300 things you want.  If nothing else it will focus your mind on the positive and away from the negative.  I did this a few months back and it took me about 4 hours, but I did it.  There is no right or wrong with this, it is simply 300 things you want.  If I asked you, what do you want from your life, most people could not tell me.  Well, we are all under house arrest, there is no time like the present!  Get your family involved, have your children do this, perhaps they may make a list of 30 things they want.  Again, there are no right or wrong answers!  Guaranteed you will struggle at about 75, but, keep going it is worth it!  I have things on my list as simple as putting lotion on my dry feet everyday before bed.  Just ask the question over and over "what do I want?" and listen in silence to what you are being told!  Write it down.  Then read it as many time during the day as you can.  Mine sits next to my bed and then travels with me to my desk and in my car, when I drive.  It is my constant companion.

Already I have crossed about 10% of the items off my list, and I just completed this 4 months ago!

Remember it is just as easy to think positive thoughts as it is negative thoughts, which are you choosing today?  Next stop the top is what I say!~Shirene

Who holds the happiness keys?

Any idea what has made you who and what you are?  Since most of us right now are at home, this is a great time to really analyze ourselves, and really go within.  Have conversations with each other about what really makes us who and what we are.  Most people spend the majority of their life running away from thought and just accept what is.  I used to be this person.  I always had to have some kind of noise in the background to keep the thoughts away. We are all capable of arriving at a place where we are comfortable with our thoughts and silence.  I promise!

Habitual thought and not environment or circumstance has made you who and what you are.  If you are wanting to change who and what you are, you must first get a new mental picture of yourself.  Ha!  Easier said than done!

First off, what is habitual thought?  These are the thoughts you have continuously, both positive and negative, and are so engrained you often have them and are not even aware of them.  These are thoughts like “I could never have that, or I can’t do that, or I am so fat and lazy, or my dad said I am stupid and I know that I am, or I have no money, or nobody wants me.”   I am sure many of you can relate to these types of thoughts. 

I think we can also agree that some of the things we repeatedly say to ourselves we would NEVER say to anyone else.  Do you know, this is a form of abuse?  Why do we think it is ok to speak to ourselves this way? 

When we are young, it is inherent in our self-image that we pay attention to what others think of us.  Let’s face it, children are cruel.  Children learn judgement and racism from their home environment, magazines, television, and social media.  This judgment is then passed on to eachother through facial expressions, conversations, or lack thereof, social media posts etc.  Our parents tell us to ignore this behavior, but our peers are so important to us, we believe their words and actions of how they treat us on a subconscious level.  And so the negative habitual thoughts and inner dialogue begin. 

If we want to be great and live our best life, we get what we give.  If we are constantly thinking negative, that is what we get.  If we are constantly thinking positive, that is what we get.  The question is, with the Covid-19 energy of fear and scarcity around us, how can we continue to think positive?  Turn off the television and social media.  UNPLUG! 

Greatness can only be attained by the constant thinking of great thoughts.  No one can become great in personality until he is great within and no one can be great until he thinks.  Use the phrases, I am, I can and I will.  When you find yourself saying things like I can’t do that, replace with I can do that and I will do that!  There is greatness inside each of us. 

The true keys to happiness and who and what we are, are in our own pocket!~Shirene